Grounded & Free

 

 

The roots are home, the roots are it's home, the roots are my home, my foundation, strong yet flexible. They pulse in the ground like a heartbeat. Stronghold. Growing deeper everyday, spreading underground yet no one sees their beauty, the inner strength that so many overlook, pass up or stomp on. The roots are home & where the souls were born, created & grounded. I am rooted like the tree yet my inner strength is hidden, buried deep inside. Push the tree, push me, but never fail to understand where the true strength comes from; not the bark, the limbs or the leaves. The roots, holding tight to the ground, growing stronger and deeper every day.

The sap filling up inside for the days when the roots are holding strong but emotion escapes through the tiny crevices. The sap that slowly comes out when it cries reveals a sweet and vulnerable side; it is not usually seen from afar but only by those who seek a close inspection, to embrace it's emotion & even collect or wipe away the residue. It cannot hide forever, it must release & show its true beauty of what it holds.

The thorns are always there but covered with leaves, flowers, and hidden; woven and intertwined throughout its beauty. The thorns are a defense that will strike when necessary, guard, protect, hurt and punish. Get too close and the pain will be inflicted if ill intentions are witnessed. If genuine interest & handled with care the thorns are strong, perfectly formed, precise, and add to the strength and beauty of the tree.

The beans or fruit produced reveal a nurturing side to give sustenance, a mothering instinct to provide to those who call it home, even in passing for a quick replenishing morsel. Patience is required for a taste but wait too long and the fruit will sour, drop, spoil & ruin those who seek its nourishment. Timing is paramount to feast and requires attention and delicate care.

The layers of bark build a strong barrier, holding in the sap and tender new skin. Weathering through all storms, punishing heat, and frigid cold, the bark will hold fast and strong. It's surface will change, take a beating, scar, warp, and peel but it will protect. Sometimes it will peel and remove old wounds to regrow a more powerful covering only to build stronger everyday.

It bends but won't break. The limbs and leaves will sway in the wind, slightly giving in to the storm. But it knows it's only doing what is necessary because this too shall pass. Leaves may be lost, bark may be damaged, roots could be tested, but it holds strong to its foundation only wavering slightly on the outside; just enough to keep moving but always returning to its natural position.

The sound of the breeze whistling through the leaves. It screams, it whispers, it infuriates and calms. Sometimes it cries out from the constant battering of the wind when the surface is being attacked. The leaves flutter and fall to the ground signaling a release of anything weak or void. It will regrow, prosper and build stronger and more beautiful and bountiful than before.

Each season brings a new challenge and change. The fall is a true spectacle to be seen as it shows off its personality with vibrant colors and shades of beauty. It puts on a show just before the next season. The winter is cold as it stands barren but strong. The snow and ice is heavy and burdensome but it shows no regret. It will survive & regrow when nurturing returns.

The spring is a time of rebirth; as water and nourishment returns it grasps at every ounce. The birds return to their homes and bring life and music to the tree as it drinks up all it will need to produce and stand ready for the heat. The scorching heat of the summer will test it again, but it has prepared for it, tested itself, and stored what is needed to make it through. Although tired, it will provide a cool place for those weary souls to rest and rejuvenate in a way only a tree can provide.

Grounded and free I will always be.

Dear Wild West Texas

After visiting West Texas in 2013 I wrote this on my cell phone in a few short minutes driving back home (well I wasn't driving haha) It had such an effect on me the words just spilled out into this. It is one of my favorites. My fav paragraph is marked with **Asterisks**

 

 

Dear Wild West Texas,

I have hunted the Heart of the Hill Country & the Soul of South Texas but only passed through your land out west. You have a personality all its own that has stood the test of time, ignores the progression of technology, and has touched a piece of my soul. You, Wild West Texas, have been a blessed adventure I will never forget. 

 

I found you 50 miles from the nearest anything, with no cell phone service, a single radio station of AM only, and the only traffic traveling your roads were tire testers. Your dust has filled my nose, my eyes, and my teeth; not to mention my gear but I am thankful for your unforgiving nature. Your rocky, steep mountains and hills tested my steps but provided breathtaking views. Your canyons and draws showed off your beauty and serenity, a stark green contrast to the monotone pallet of dust, dirt, & rock. 

 

Oh Wild West Texas you are so stubborn but yet so inviting. When you showed me your sparse water I was thankful and you were gracious enough to allow animals to drink and survive. I can feel your intensity in the dryness of my hands and chapped lips but feel your softness in the fur of the rams & sheep who call you home. 

 

Thank you for revealing yourself to me in the people who live life a little slower, spend their entire day outside, work hard, are gracious for the important things in life and love every bit of it. Seeing children outside from sun up to sun down only emphasizes your true beauty and tradition and reminds me of why I want to be in the field as much as possible. 

 

Your Wild spirit captured my heart and secured a place in it. You unveiled unique animals to me I have never seen up close including Texas Dahl, Corsican Rams, & Barbado’s. You also produced Axis deer, hogs, whitetail deer, turkey, and red stag, all free roaming, unfenced and wild. You provided unlimited predators and varmints including over 10 foxes we were able to call in. As I heard them bark I said Thank You for such an open area to see and hear them. 

 

**Wild West Texas, you slowed down even more at night and wrapped your arms around me with your endless sky, countless stars, and a silence so loud it was deafening. You are a contradiction that many will never understand. From afar you are a vast, empty, endless area of rugged land that is stifling, uncomfortable, and almost painful; up close, however, as I stood in the middle of nowhere, it is your somewhere that makes me believe, adore, and love you.**

 

Although you did not provide an opportunity to harvest an animal with my bow, you did present them to be taken with a gun; I however passed on that opportunity and instead soaked up your beauty and saw things to add to my scrapbook of memories in my heart and head. I saw two gorgeous lambs that were so pregnant they could barely walk; a piece of me was hoping to witness their birth in the middle of the wild. It would have been an exquisite moment to be there and watch the circle of life from 15 yards away in my ground blind. Even though a birth didn’t happen I saw the love of a mother in nature and I am content. I know, however, that you my friend will be there to nurture them and raise them.

 

Finally Wild West Texas, you have unlocked a piece of my soul and opened my eyes to another unique place to hunt, a place to love for what it is; an unforgiving land that forces you to respect its beauty of endless skies, mountains, and rock bluffs. I hope you will remain untouched by the destruction of the city and technology; do not let it change you, but rather change the minds of those who only see you from afar. Stay Wild my West Texas friend, ill see you again soon! 

Sincerely, 

A Huntress with a Wild Heart

 

Heals and Haunts

I mentioned in my previous blog “Baby Brows ‘Bout Time Buck” (http://camocandace.blogspot.com/2014/10/baby-brows-bout-time-buck.html) that I was working on a more ‘poetic’ version of the extreme emotional response to taking this buck…but to understand the highs, the lows must also be felt. In honor of the pure unfiltered bliss and bluster a hunter’s journey travels through I present this…I hope you can relate. 

  

Hunting; a consuming love triangle between me, my mind and the woods where learning how to fail is a staple of the journey.  It is a sickness that heals and haunts me, that brings me to the peak of my being and plunges to the depths of my soul. 

Before reaching a culmination of supreme perfection I press my face against the foundation of rock bottom where the cold, hard reality of heartbreak in the woods exists. Unfortunately this is not truly failure but a necessary moment each must turn and face at some point; however, in my mind and many like it, these are logged as failures long before a retrospective view is forced that ultimately leads to another scratch on the experience tree. There are moments where the bridge is burned solely to force a turnaround to face what you may have been avoiding or failed to see.

There goes my heart falling, falling, falling to the chasm created inside from a mistake, a misstep, or an uncontrollable moment only Mother Nature could create. When it hits, it hurts. It wrenches inside a pain that burns me, crushes confidence, ignites doubts, and envelops every thought. The world stops as a glimmer of self-pity sneaks in and weakness threatens to haunt me. I stagger and stumble through my mind in a cloud of disbelief, ambiguity, and empathy for any affected by this moment. It is a battle; it is hell on my mind, body and soul. Words cannot rectify it, comfort is out of reach and it is my solo internal struggle. Time, determination, dedication, and the inability to deny the fibers of my being will regenerate me and harmony will be restored; even if only briefly to carry on to witness the perfect moment we all seek. Unfortunately the return to heartbreak is nearly inevitable but it is the challenge, the moments, and the indescribable feelings inside that will always bring me back.

 After pure suffering through the dark moments of defeat, there comes a light that will shine brighter than ever before and blind the doubt that existed in my mind. With success comes renewed ambition, promise and confidence that the path I am on is deserved, honest, and merited. A successful shot is followed by a complete adrenaline release, uncontrollable shaking, tears, and a constant replay of the matter at hand. If the reward does not fall within sight all elation is stifled, just barely, by questionable ambivalence teetering on the brink of insanity followed by prayer. My heart is on the line, living in danger. Yes, no, good, bad, what if, please Lord.

But when that moment of confirmation arrives there is nothing, I mean nothing that can contain the passion, intensity and spirit of seeing the animal down. Typically I freeze in disbelief as my heart leaves my body and soars to the Heavens with gratitude and the tears continue to drain all logic from my mind leaving only emotion. It is raw, pure, unfiltered euphoria; a high like no other. As I move to feel the concrete evidence of my success and sustenance, the smile spread across my face can be seen for miles and is broken up with intervals of laughter as enthusiasm continues to exude from my body; in all forms of tears, laughter, dance, and embrace I am there in that moment and nowhere else. It, all of it, has come together. Perseverance, affliction, endless days and nights, Mother Nature, the intellectual warfare, physical complaints, and barraging battles unique to their own, all have collided in that moment and it cannot and will not be taken away…at least until the next meeting with the foundation of rock bottom starts its vicious cycle again.

It heals and it haunts…

USSA The Most Important Hunting Tool: A Healthy Body

Once again I have had the honor of continuing as a guest writer for the United States Sportsman's Alliance (http://www.ussportsmen.org/)  They are a truly amazing organization who are actively protecting our hunting heritage and I am proud to be a member as well.

 

You can read it on their website on the Presidents Blog here: http://www.ussportsmen.org/news/themostimportanthuntingtool/

and I have posted it here with additional pictures for motivation:

 

 

What is the most important tool needed for hunting? Most will say their bow, gun, GPS, or knife, but I will disagree with all of your answers and venture to say that your body is the most important tool used for hunting and outdoor activities. Like any other tool or weapon, your body requires maintenance, fuel or ammunition to function, and consistent training in real-life situations. So why do so many of us wait until hunting season is upon us to start eating better and become weekend workout warriors? Most of us don’t leave our weapons, trail cameras, hunting gear, and tools locked up until the day before we go on a hunt. Instead we scout, plan, prepare, practice, educate, and put in tireless effort months before or sometimes year round. So what makes our body, the tool that will carry us through all of this, any different?

 

 

The need for year round maintenance and care for our bodies is essential to prepare and maintain during the crazy chaos of hunting season. It was brought to my attention that so many hunters spend the months of hunting season bouncing around from state to state eating whatever they can find at the nearest gas station or local fast food drive thru. We all know this is not beneficial but we still do it. A few bad meals shouldn’t hurt us but if we aren’t doing much during ‘offseason’ then it could be detrimental now and in the long run. Hunters need to keep a consistent lifestyle of diet and exercise in their off seasons so a bad week or weekend of burgers and fries won’t derail our bodies. The ideal situation would be healthy eating on every hunting trip but for most of us that is not realistic depending on location, amenities, food sources, and schedule. We should all strive to make every meal as healthy as possible, especially on grueling hunts where protein and nutrients are essential, and some are able to do this with meal preparation and planning. I am not one of those but I do try to make good decisions on the road and in the field.

 

I am far from a personal trainer, a nutrition expert, or perfect in my health habits, but I have learned what works for my body over the years and tried to maintain a healthy lifestyle in both diet and exercise. I am fortunate enough to hunt wild pigs year round in Texas, so I truly never have a hunting offseason, but I can get complacent and lazy. Whitetail and big game seasons bring a need for increased dedication because of the travel and limited diet and exercise resources upping the ante for better offseason dedication.

 

 

I prefer to work out at home with high intensity interval style workouts because the exercises incorporate bodyweight and minimal equipment which allows me to take these exercises on the road. I also use the bow trainer tool to keep my ‘bow muscles’ working when I can’t shoot. Home workouts require a high level of motivation and may not be for everyone, but each person must find their inner motivation to push themselves and possibly an exercise partner or trainer to keep you accountable; find what works for you, make it fun and consistent. Healthy eating habits are not something that happens overnight and will almost always be a struggle. My biggest piece of advice is to start by making small changes to your meals and view food as fuel for your body; wheat instead of white, fruits instead of sweets, and gradually incorporated better habits and push out the negative ones.

 

 

These small changes throughout the year help create a lifestyle that I carry into hunting season. I find myself buying almonds and pistachios instead of candy bars for snacks on the road and in the field; I notice my eyes darting around on menus for grilled, steamed, or baked instead of fried foods. This is not always easy in some of the small towns that I hunt in or remote locations. Local diners and fast food stops will happen and sometimes we only cook on BBQ pits because the ranch doesn’t have a stove or running water. Healthy eating is very difficult on the road but making better choices when we are home or during the offseason can help counteract the ones we sometimes cannot avoid.

Take care of your body and it will take care of you. It is the most important hunting tool you have; it gets us to and from the stands, or high up into the mountains, and is fundamental in packing out that trophy animal. Maintain your body year round because it’s the number one tool in your hunting gear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Release

 

 

As I sat in the woods on a Friday night waiting for pigs with my bow, I took out my Rite in the Rain notebook to write down my thoughts. As I picked up the pen I looked at my hand and there of course, ready as always, was my Scott Archery Fox release. There it was staring at me, attempting to hinder my penmanship, screaming at me to either take it off or adapt and write with it still on.

 

With the chance of pigs around I couldn't take my release off so there was only one option. As I looked at it, I was going to win this battle and I maneuvered my hand around with the pen, and the words just poured out. In about 3 minutes there on paper was a simple, yet inspiring piece of my thoughts. Hope you enjoy!

Release
 
 On my hand
 
  Of my troubles
 
   Of the world
 
    In my mind
 
     Becomes my hand
 
      Extension of me
 
       Connected through
 
      Draws the string
 
     Launches the arrow
 
    Frees my soul
 
   Feeds my hunger
 
  More than a tool
 
 Pressure pointed
 
Directed, purposeful Release
 
Peace