I have no problem admitting some of my hunting mistakes that
I have made because we all make them and I hope others can learn from them too;
with the same regard I want to share one of my biggest struggles that I deal
with in everyday life and hunting that has led to some mistakes and missed
opportunities. I am not perfect and hunting, fishing & outdoor activities
do not come easily for me all the time, but I work at it every day. I have
dealt with this hindrance since I was in second grade and every year it has
progressed to a worsening state; it is one of the most important tools you need
when hunting and although it can be aided, currently mine can’t be fixed.
I am talking about my vision, or lack thereof. Starting in
second grade I began sitting too close to the TV and there began my struggle.
It started with glasses, eventually progressed to contact lenses and
unfortunately my eyesight has not stabilized since then, only worse. I started
with a -4.00 prescription and I now have a PX of -10.50 and -9.50 in my eyes as
of January 2014; without getting all technical this basically means instead of
20/20 vision I have 20/1050 and 20/950 respectively; extremely nearsighted. I
cannot function at all without my contacts or glasses and if I wanted to read
something without them the words would need to be less than 3 inches from my
nose.
In addition to the nearsightedness, I have astigmatism, tiny
holes in my retinas (that must be monitored which is why I see an ophthalmologist
every year), and through a crazy freak accident I have burned a layer off both
my corneas and my optic nerve is stretched to the max. Needless to say my
vision is far from perfect and continues to get worse. With all of these
issues, LASIK or laser correction surgery may be nearly impossible and until my
eyesight actually stabilizes a bit irrelevant. Newer ‘lens’ transplants and
other options are still so trivial and unpredictable it is hard for me to even
think about pursuing them because I am terrified of losing my vision completely
or encountering more problems.
Unfortunately, although I get new contacts and glasses
almost every year to adjust for the change, my vision is still not what I want
it to be because my eyes are changing daily and getting worse. This becomes a
huge frustration when hunting that I have to adapt to all the time. It is very
hard for me to see what others see moving across the field, in the trees, or
even the antler count of a buck just 40 yards away. Spotting an animal’s legs
or nose in the brush is nearly impossible to my naked eyes, determining which
birds are flying in the sky is such a challenge and frustration, and there have
even been times when I was completely wrong about what type of animal it was in
the distance.
I always have binoculars
with me which isn’t a bad thing most of the time but when I am up in a tree
stand or in a ground blind surrounded by deer and the animal that is the most
mature and legal is 50 yards out I can’t tell without binoculars I nearly cry.
I have to be extra stealth trying to use my binoculars with so many eyes around
me, but I refuse to just guess and take the ‘wrong’ deer. I have been busted looking
through my binos at times to ensure my eyes aren’t lying to me which makes my
frustration grow even more; the extra movement can sometimes ruin a hunt for me
and has definitely caused missed opportunities. Although binos help, seeing
extremely far distances is very difficult.
Although I remember praying every night as a child that I
would wake up and see the numbers on my alarm clock without contacts or glasses
(and sometimes as an adult I still do – hoping for a miracle I guess) I refuse
to let it stop me from enjoying my hunting trips and the outdoors. This is why
when I get extremely up close to an animal it means so much to me because I can
probably see all of their features without binoculars. When I harvest an animal
or anyone else does, I love examining them up close so I can train my eyes to
look for specific characteristics next time I am in the field. The other
positive I rely on is that because I cannot depend on my eyesight 100%, my
other senses are heightened; I can hear the tiniest sounds and smell the
faintest of smells and so many actions are completely by memory (especially
when I do not have my contacts in) so for that I am grateful.
Everyone has their weaknesses in life and in hunting, mine
just happens to be a substantial hindrance with a sense that is needed in the
field. I hope that sharing this will let you see that anyone can enjoy the outdoors.
I have harvested some beautiful animals and each one means so much because I
know the daily struggle of ‘seeing’ has been overcome. My heart looks forward
to a miracle day where maybe my vision will stop getting worse and I will be
able to see a beautiful animal without the aid of binoculars!
The two reactions I have to this are (1) a combination of sympathy and frustration, and (2) major thanks for sharing a problem from which I suffer to a much lesser degree because your success gives us all great hope.
ReplyDeleteKnowing how integral hunting is to your life, and how precious eyesight is to hunters, this seems a most unfair challenge. However, it is not blindness and, though it seems to be deteriorating, it either is or will be treatable in time (with increasingly good results as this kind of surgery is making rapid progress).
My own originally good eyesight was set back by a crystallised retina when I was hit in one eye at school, and suddenly both eyes developed myopia (short-sightedness) which worsened slowly thanks to close work with VDUs and PC monitors, but has now levelled out and may be improving very slightly. I take my spectacles off for reading but need them for anything slightly less than an arm's length away or more. Your description of swapping binoculars, and the like, is an all-too-familiar experience whether shooting with a rifle or a camera.
I wonder if your freak accident, where you burned a layer off both your corneas, was looking into a fire - which can cause contact lenses to heat up dangerously and do just such damage. This is not so rare as some people may think.
If ever the right kind of surgery became available but proved too expensive I would be glad to get this sponsored for you because I know how ridiculously unfair it is that you of all people have been challenged in this way.
You, Candace, are one of my all-time heroines because you hunt in a manner that is so close to my heart. Your exquisite work with piggies, and plenty of other critters, is right up in my top favourites - and your uncanny ability to express things in a way that is unnervingly similar to my own thought processes never ceases to astonish me. And now, to learn that all your great achievements have been made despite being hampered with this infernal hindrance, just fills me with even more admiration (don't panic, I'm not into wife stealing!). If you can do all this, with that constraint, there is no excuse for others with similar visual handicaps for not making a committed effort.
Thanks for your well written response and for always supporting not only me but all women hunters out there. The freak accident was from a mishap where makeup remover that had a small amount of hydrochloric acid in the mix that was used instead of contact solution. My contacts soaked in them overnight and when I put them in it burned them. Bad day for sure. I don't know if I could ever entertain that offer but maybe one day! Thank you for all of your kind words. Sorry you have to struggle with vision problems too, but good to hear it might be slightly improving. Positive thoughts your way!
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